Dear my wife’s blog readers,
I have recently learned a few new and interesting things about my wife, through a recent post:
1) She does not like to discuss finances.
2) Social media is now the new way to discuss such issues.
Now, sadly, this is only a new venue for the age old battle of Kristie vs. Money. In fact, when we were first dating and had one of our very first discussions about finances she left the room for a relatively long period of time in a calm, normal manner and I was under the mistaken impression that she was OK with discussing money. She returned with a picture she drew of a pile of money, crying, because a bird was swooping through the air stealing it away from the crudely drawn pile of clothing, alcohol, food, and other such things with which the money would prefer to maintain company. She tossed the “financial metaphor drawn in the style of a 3rd grader” on the table in front of me and said “this should explain my feelings.” I thought it was cute.
What I didn’t expect was that this photo was supposed to represent the standing, non-negotiable, permanent response to anything related to finances for the rest of our lives!
For whatever reason, I have recently become emboldened enough to give the discussion another swing. Again, you read the result a few days ago. So instead of backing down, I thought I would try a different approach and appeal to her weakness. Pancakes.
Kristie has always told me that I make amazing pancakes. I honestly can’t tell if I really do make good pancakes or if this is a compliment in the same way as I am” great at taking out the garbage,” “wonderful at mowing the lawn” and “do laundry so well” followed by her pointing toward me the garbage can, opening the garage door, or nudging me toward a laundry pile. Either way, I’m fighting against a money-stealing eagle from years past, so I tried the pancake-woo this morning.
- Kodiak pancake mix*
- Water*
- Kodiak pancake mix*
- Water*
- Heat a griddle to 350′F. DO NOT do anything before this point
- Generously coat the griddle with vegetable oil (or other oil that does is not going to cause a problem due to smoke point.) Wait for the oil to get hot.
- Pour pancake batter onto the griddle. DO NOT touch them until you are ready to flip them. I’m not sure when this is, but for me its when the middle gets generous bubbles and the sides start to look tight.*
- Then flip them and DO NOT touch again until ready to be taken away.
- *Again, get off my nuts. I’m an allergist, not a chef. You want a lecture on IgE antibodies, I’ll be more precise. You want me to describe pancake batter, you take what you can get.
I have always thought that this recipe was just how you made pancakes. Hence, the suspicion that Kristie just said they were great because she wants to encourage me to keep making pancakes. But she called them my “fried pancakes” today. I dunno… if cooking batter in a large amount of 350′F hot oil until crispy and golden brown is “frying,” then guilty as charged, I guess.
I just hope that they do the trick: make Kristie forget that we are on a *very* lightly-restrictive budget and that I am not a Fat Cat on Monument Hill, as she has continued to refer to me through her Occupy Kitchen movement.
And a note to my wife:
Remember when I made you pancakes... don't be upset at me
I only see one small problem with your pancake recipe. Where is the bacon?
mmmm…pancakes…I’ve solved the problem for you guys re: eating out. Every time Kristie says “let’s eat out.” you make dinner instead. Voila! money saved. Now then, if only I could get my husband to actually make food every once in a while…
Kodiak Cakes are amazing! The family I used to nanny for introduced them to me. Since you can’t find them out here we have a “pancake budget” to make sure we don’t run out before visiting family can bring us more.
Okay, a few things. First, wow. I am super adorable as a wife. Second, drawing my feelings is a very tried and true therapeutic method to ensure that i don’t end up crazypants. Third, you’ve never mowed the lawn in your life, you fat liar. Fourth, your pancakes are the shit. They’re all crispy on the outside with fried, and tender on the inside with fluff. Kodiak mix is the absolute bomb, and you are too.
Now, give me some money and stop complaining about made up words like “IRA” and “Visa bill”