Thirty is interesting. So far, my writing dreams have started to come true, I’m the strongest I’ve ever been, I’ve got a posse of awesome people who I get to spend time with, and my husband and kid are fantastic people. But, on the flip side, since I turned thirty I’ve regressed into the pervmobile status of a 13 year old boy, carrying a notebook around to hide his boner. I think about sex more. I talk about sex more. I read about sex more. I’d love to blame my current state of disfunction and perpetual horndoggery on 5o Shades of Grey, but in reality I think it’s just hormones. And possibly my body freaking out about things like advanced maternal age and trying to trick me into making another baby by making weiners like, WAY more appealing than they ever were before.
I won’t be fooled, Uterus! I’m still eating birth control pills like they’re popcorn chicken, only without the ranch dressing!
And now that Rush Limbaugh has informed me that I have to take extras based on how whore-y my thoughts are, I find myself wandering the aisles of Costco, hoping that they’ll have 24 packs of Yaz next to the gallon drums of ketchup. So far, no such luck. I won’t be renewing my membership unless they take a more progressive approach to protecting my junk.
Yesterday, I had the very great pleasure of having my new writing gig AND my new overflow of sex talk AND my love of white wine coincide in one magic moment of hilarious glory. Well, almost 30 minutes of hilarious glory, truth be told. I was asked to be a guest on the ever-funny Brittany and Meredith Live. We discussed sex, ben-wa balls, 50 Shades of Grey, and the myth of the ever-ready sex machine.
You can hear to it here. My “interview” starts 30 minutes in on the episode Busey and the Donkey Punch, but the entire show is hilarious, so please give it a listen.
Except for my mom. You probably shouldn’t listen unless you want to hear graphic stories about blowies. I’m serious.
One of the requirements of the show is that I had to be drinking fairly heavily to participate. As a result, I needed a dinner option that could be prepared largely ahead of time, and would cater to my drunk food desires while still captivating my palate in a way that would result in a decent blog post for you.
I hit the nail on the head. HA!
Vegetables, meats, dairy, carbs...looks complete to me!
This recipe is so simple, and really, really delicious. If you like ethnic foods at all, please try making this and let me know how much you loved it. I need that reassurance. I’m a clinger.
- 2 lbs chicken wings (I like the party wings from WhoFo)
- 1½ C buttermilk (I like organic valley)
- 4 T Ras al Hanout (see note)
- 2 t cayenne pepper (optional, but excellent)
- 3 T kosher salt
- 1½ C AP flour
- oil for frying (in a safe deep frying apparatus)
- Create a marinade of buttermilk, 2 T ras al hanout, 1 T kosher salt, and some fresh ground pepper
- Marinade chicken wings in the buttermilk mixture for at least 2 hours, but up to overnight
- When you’re ready to prepare the wings, remove them from the fridge for about 30 minutes to bring them to room temperature. This helps them cook more evenly
- In a medium-sized, shallow hotel pan or bowl, mix flour with remaining 2 T ras al hanout, 2 T kosher salt, cayenne pepper, and some freshly ground black pepper
Breading on the left, marinating wings on the right
- Preheat oil to 350 F
- Remove chicken wings in batches of 6-8 from the marinade. Drip off any excess buttermilk and dredge well in the flour mixture.
- Set aside to rest while you dredge the rest of the wings
- Letting the wings rest after being dredged (for about 5 minutes) helps the coating to set an will result in a crispier wing. If there are wet spots, dredge in flour again before frying.
- Fry in batches of 6-8, being careful not to overcrowd or you’ll get greasy wings.
- Drain on paper towels or a paper bag and serve with cucumber raita (see notes)
*Ras al Hanout is a wonderful Moroccan spice mixture that contains, among other things, saffron, cumin, coriander, ginger, paprika, turmeric, pepper, cinnamon, and cayenne pepper. It’s supposed to be a very luxurious spice blend, and is the perfect pairing with the humble chicken wing.
*Cucumber raita is very similar to the Greek tzatziki. It’s an Indian condiment made by mixing 1.5 C Greek yogurt, .5 cucumber (grated and squeezed of excess liquid), a squeeze of fresh lemon, and kosher salt and pepper to taste. Just mix it up and enjoy it as a fresh, healthy dip for your wings. The leftovers are great with pita bread, olives, or even as an extremely lo-cal, high-protein salad dressing.
The tastiest wang you'll ever have
These sound delicious, and I may just have to make them myself. Besides, I really need to get out of the “Spaghetti”, “Apple Pancake”, “Breakfast Potatoes”, “Pasta” rut that I am in, and always seem to fall into…
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