Until the entry of Greek yogurt into the marketplace, I didn’t know there were different kinds of yogurt. Most of our experience was limited to “fruit-on-the-bottom” and “fruit-all-mixed-in” yogurts. And plain yogurt, which I always assumed was to make old people less obsessed with their own gastroenteric function. Or something involving butts. Really, who knows … Continue reading »
I am no stranger to food that looks disturbingly like vaginas. You can see evidence of that here and here, as well as at any dinner table I’ve ever attended that has included more than 4 oz of wine poured into my personal glass. Once, I went to dinner with some very conservative, religious family … Continue reading »
I think it was back when I was first entering college that everybody was clamoring for the George Foreman grill. Here are a few important facts: 1- George Foreman named all of his five sons “George Foreman,” which should be an immediate qualifier for getting punched in the face. I don’t even feel comfortable when … Continue reading »
Forgive me for a moment while I get a little bit srsly for a second. Being a parent is HARD. Harder than I ever would have dreamed. It’s not like the basic need-meeting is a particularly challenging skillset, mind you. Basically all I have to do is keep him from offing himself, make PB&J sandwiches … Continue reading »
When we lived in TX, I made the very grave error of buying a whole bunch of groceries at the ethnic market, and then taking them home and not making them immediately, assuming that I would get to them on a rainy day. Instead, on that rainy day, I got pregnant and was so deeply … Continue reading »
I find the Asian market to be absolutely fascinating. I’ve mentioned this before. I like everything about it except for the fact that it smells like an unwashed bidet. After careful sleuthing, I believe I may have located the source of the odor, and it’s sort of a nightmare in and of itself: Like … Continue reading »
Oh, late summer. That special time of year when all of the good summer holidays are over, the novelty of swimsuit attire has faded, and the heat takes on a desperate, end-of-days feel. Honestly, the only redeeming things that happen in late summer are A) I’ve become relatively tan and B) my garden has started … Continue reading »
I went to Colorado State University. My brother, in turn, went to Colorado State University. And then my little sister went to Colorado State University. If you were to ask us what the one most memorable thing about the CSU campus was, it wouldn’t be architecture or meeting places for friends or tiny, cinderblock dormitory … Continue reading »
I was at the gym yesterday, hammering away at a tractor tire with a mjolnir…er…sledgehammer, when a pompous-looking management type waddled out onto the turf field and told my boot camp class that there was a tornado warning in effect, and we all needed to cram into the locker rooms until it was safe. That … Continue reading »
I think my attack pigeons are having a threesome. Either that, or they’ve brought in a sister wife. All I know is that there are now three attack pigeons sharing one nest, when there used to be two. I have no problem with it– good for them– but they’ve got eggs and I don’t really … Continue reading »